i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize