lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
