Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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