they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
