I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize