haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
