I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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