By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
