It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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