Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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