I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize