Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
