no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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