A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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