and next time when you feel me up, do it right
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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