so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
