i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
