careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
