i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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