This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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