The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
