Small penises have feelings too.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
