my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
It was like giving head to a cactus.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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