Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
