If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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