I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
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