EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize
