I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
