Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
