absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Randomize