Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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