is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
