I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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