i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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