Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
