Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize