I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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