I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
