It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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