Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
