i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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