no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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