Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize