So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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