don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
