I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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