i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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