My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
