Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
