People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
