The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
