do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize