Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
