That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
