Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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