As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
