his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
