I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
