I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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