he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
