Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
