yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize