South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
