The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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