I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
