that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
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