How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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