I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize