I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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